26 posts tagged “family”
When it comes to love...
It's funny how the one person that you would never expect to hurt you, ends up hurting you the most.
It's funny how the one person that you thought that you could trust, ends up breaking that trust way beyond repair.
It's funny how that person seems to "disappear" into thin air when you are counting on them the most.
It's funny how people always tell you to follow your heart, but then when you do... you start to think that just like that "trustworthy" person... it has betrayed you too.
It's funny how someone can tell you that they love you and care for you, but they make it pretty hard to tell whether it's true or not, but they end up making it all sound sooooo sincere that you believe that it is and you take a chance only to find that your back where you were before... trying to figure out if they spoke truth in anything that they've ever said.
It's funny how I continue to fall for the same person, time after time, even though I know that I'll end up disappointed. I'm doing nothing but setting myself up for disappointment. But stupid silly me... I continue to believe in that person and make up excuses for the things that he does.
It's funny how I allow myself to be effected by one single person.
It's funny how you love one person more then ANYTHING... but you choose another over them... but you love that other more than anything too, and it just so happens to be the person that you continue to fall for and hold onto to just to hurt yourself.
It's funny how you can never find the right words to tell the person that you love, that you need them and wouldn't be able to live without them.
When it comes to heartbreak...
It's funny how I just keep coming back for more, everytime I get knocked down and my heart splattered all over hell.
It's funny that when think that you've finally moved on and all the pain is gone, you suddenly realize that you haven't and all that pain that you felt before... comes back tens harder then before.
It's funny when you consider the person that continuously breaks your heart, as a friend and someone that you don't want to lose because you wouldn't be able to live without them either.
When it comes to so called "family"...
It's funny how they always seem to make you feel like you are nothing.
It's funny how when you try to help them or make things better... it just backfires on you and makes things worser off then they were before.
It's funny how someone that claims to be your "sister/best friend for life" makes you feel like you're nothing but a step-sister and nothing more...( if you catch my drift) but you've always treated them as an equal NO MATTER WHAT!
It's funny that even after you have come to the conclusion that that "sister" doesn't give a RAT'S ASS about you... you keep giving a shit about her and continue to try to be there for her even though it seems like she doesn't want your advice or support.
When it comes to "dads"...
It's funny how you use to be SO close, and now it's like you can't even stand to be around each other for more than a weekend, because it causes nothing but chaos.
It's funny how he can make you feel like a red headed step-child, when he used to make you feel like his very own.
It's funny that when he gave you his name and adopted you as his daughter, you felt so proud to be a Smith and to have a real daddy... but now you're not so proud to be a Smith anymore and you feel that you're losing the only dad that you've known since you were around 5 or 6.
When it comes to high school...
It's funny how it depresses the living hell out of you... but you want to go to college.
It's funny to think that you might have to take a step back and start over.
It's funny how you start to realize that it could've all been over this year if you would've sucked it up and stayed in school 9th through 11th grade year. Or sucked it up and stayed with your "dad" and "sister" for the last couple of months of the school year.
When it comes to sleep...
It's funny that no matter how hard you try to find it... you never can. It's like a never ending game of hide-and-seek... but in a not so fun way.
When it comes to you...
It's funny how you say your happy with you, but it's not all true. No matter how confident you may look to be on the outside, on the inside... you still wish to have longer hair, a more curvy & thick body, better teeth, a smaller forehead, nice shoes, nice clothes, designer purses and bags, because you think that maybe that will make you better. Or maybe it'll make him like you.
It's funny how you suddenly realize that you don't need all that to make you better. You are just fine the way that you are. Ebonni Victoria is just fine as Ebonni Victoria. And whoever can't deal with that... can just KICK ROX WITH NO SOX! because I'm happy with ME and I'm not changing who I am to please or appease others.
It's funny how I just get right back in the mind set of I need this, and this, and that to beautiful or noticed by him or others...
When it comes to life...
It's funny how all the above mentioned things makes you realize you're alive. You're living life and no matter what... it still goes on. Life is about learning and moving on. You can't change the past or tell the future, so don't try to change or outwit it. Fix what you can and leave the rest alone! Whatever is to happen in the future... will happen when you get there.
Just enjoy life as it is.
But it's funny how that sounds sooooooooo DAMN easy and people tell you to do so as if it was as easy as 1-2-3 or A-B-C, when really it's not.
Ain't that some funny shit?
Yeah... IT'S FRICKIN' HELLA HEE-LARRY-US!!!
What will you remember most about this summer?
My new buddy Nate! My awesome "camping" trip! My big sis leaving :(, and becoming an adult! (they grow up soo fast! *lol*). My awesome trip to visit my sisters and my extended fam! And my awesome tan! *lol*
What do you enjoy most about summer?
Submitted by Alex.
Swimming, water fights, fishing, going to the beach, bar-b-ques/family get togethers, and hanging with family and friends.
*sigh* We all have those times where we just wanna get away from "it all". Where we just wanna let go of everything and find peace! That's how I feel right about now. Like I've mentioned before, I'm kinda depressed. Being depressed is no fun at all! I know what you're thinking, "You're young. You haven't lived yet! What do you have to be depressed about?".
Well, if you read my post (more ramblings from the mind of a confused teenage girl) that's one of the reasons. Another is, well... I have no social life what so ever! My social life is basically on the internet, and to me... that's pretty sad. Yeah, there's a few people that I talk to at school and I have a few good friends, but other than that... I guess you can pretty much call me a loner. Now I'm not going to say that being in the house is the whole reason. Me being shy is a way bigger reason that any.
I think I've mentioned this before. I'm extremely shy. I'm not the type of person that'll just run up and talk to any and everybody. I tend to stick to myself and wait around for someone to eventually approach me. I'm actually a very silly and hyperactive person, but I care about how other people think of me so not very many people know that. This has a lot to do with my self-esteem. Like I've mentioned before in previous posts concerning my self-esteem, after being teased one too many times in elementary and middle school... I've started to believe that what other people said about me was true, so now I basically stay in the shadows and give people the impression that I don't want to be bothered (if you've seen me in person... i always look like i'm about to beat somebody up. i do it so often... i don't even realize that i'm doing it *lol*). How could I possibly expect for people to just wanna be my friend if I act like I don't want to have any friends? I guess I can't. Yeah, so I need to really work on that.
About the not getting out of the house part. Being in a family that doesn't have much (as in money) is a real strain. I miss out on a lot, because of that. Another reason may be that I don't ask for help or anything. I have a few people that I can turn to if I ever need things (such as money), but I don't ask for their help. I don't know, I just don't like asking people for things (well, except for my parents *lol*). Especially money. Part of it is the shy thing, and another part is I just don't feel comfortable doing that. I don't know how to explain it. But yeah, my family doesn't have very much to work with, so that stresses everybody out. After sitting around and looking at each other like we're crazy... it tends to get frustrating (do ya'll get what i'm trying to say?).
School. Another big thing that has gotten me down a lot. I'm still working on it, but I still don't have the motivation that i need to get me through it. Yes, I know I have to motivate myself, but it helps to have some motivation coming from the outside. But yeah, I'm working on it.
There's more that has been getting to me, but I'll just save those for some other time. I'm not feeling all too well and my mom wants the computer back *lol* I'm off to bed. A nap sounds very nice right about now :)
Hope all is well
After talking with a friend, I found out that summer school is going to cost a whole lotta money! Classes are two hundred dollars each! What happened to free summer school? Hopefully I can find some way to get the money, so that I can pass into my right grade. If not, then... I'll be an 09 instead of an 08 :( But... I've learned my lesson... I guess. I messed up, therefore I have to deal with the consequences. I hope college is a whole lot better. From what I've heard about it, I think I'll like it :) I've made a promise to myself that I was going to start going to school from now on. Everyday until the end of the school year. I know that there are going to be times that I'm going to hate myself for forcing myself to go to that boring place, but sometimes you just have to do things that you don't want to do. I don't wanna go to school, but in order for me to carry out my future plans, I have to go.
I think I'll go to bed now. I'm starting to doze at the keyboard *lol* Okay, I'm about to go climb into my warm bed and snuggle with my teddy bear and drift off into lullaby land :)
Hope all is well with you guys :) (I've noticed recently that i put these gosh dern smilies all over the place *lol*)
O yeah... I couldn't think of a good song to post, so I didn't putt one up. I'll think of one for tomorrow, or should I say later today? Anywho, goodnight/good morning fellow VOX peeps :) (there goes that dern smiley again *lol*)As I've stated before, I haven't been to school in a month! If you know me, then you know that I absolutely dislike school. I literally can not stand it! It's not because the work is hard, or because I'm having trouble with fitting in. It's because I'm bored out of my mind! Sitting in a classroom constantly reviewing the same stuff, that you've learned in elementary and middle school, over and over again is not fun at all. I'm a lil bit more advanced than most kids in my class, so of course the work is easy for me. I love to learn new things and I love challenges. School offers no of these! Now, I would have to say that I appreciate math because I do get challenged a lil bit in that area, but other than that... there aren't any challenges offered. Now, I know most people are asking, "If it's so easy, why not just do it and get it done and over with?" Just because something is easy, doesn't exactly make it easy, or should I say fun, to do (did ya'll get that... if not... it's okay. i don't even get my own self somethimes *lol*). The main problem why I don't like school is because IT'S TOO EASY, which makes it EXTREMELY BORING!
Now, If you happen to know my mother, then you know that she's not your average mother. She's the mother that everyone wishes that they had when growing up or wish that they had now. The relationship that I have with my mother is one that resembles a friendship. I can tell her anything and she understands, so I've discussed this issue with her. Now, most parents would tell their kids to suck it up and force them to go to school. My mother on the other hand, did nothing of the sort. She actually gave me the responsibility of choosing to go to school! Now, most people would look down and frown upon such a decision, and never even think of giving a child the privilege of choosing to go to school, But trust is the key word here. My mother trust that I am responsible enough to handle decision making. If I don't want to got to school, I don't have to! But I have to realize the consequences.
That towards the end of my ninth grade year. Ever since then, I haven't been to school as much as I have been. I barely made it to the eleventh grade! I only have one more year, and I fear that it'll be two more If I don't start going to school. I haven't been in a month! I'm not trying to fail on purpose, It's just that I don't want to be at school. It's depressing!
People tell me that I am responsible for making my own challenges and happiness. They ask, "Why don't you join some teams or clubs?" or "Why don't you challenge yourself outside of the school?" I would love to join some teams and clubs, but when you're in DPS, there aren't very many choices. I mean, I'm in choir and band, but that doesn't motivate me enough. I do challenge myself outside of school too, but that's not enough. I don't know, maybe I'm not trying hard enough, but I just don't feel motivated enough to go to school. Another thing is, I don't feel that anyone really cares. After being out of school for almost a month, nobody asks about it or even cares. Well, all except for one teacher, but what about the rest? Everybody notices, but they lend a helping hand. Mrs. Harton-Malabed (my choir teacher) is the only teacher that did, and I appreciate it. I truly and honestly do with all my heart. She's trying so hard to help me, but I feel that I'm letting her down. I feel bad about that, but I just can't stand school.
When you have a 4.0 student just suddenly turn into a 2.0 student, then you know that something is wrong. And like I said, It's not that I'm dumb or anything. Maybe it is me. Maybe I need to motivate myself a lil bit more. Whatever it is, I hope that I find it and fix my problem soon. I see myself walking across that stage and getting my degree with the rest of the graduating class of 08. I just need to push myself towards it.
I hope that I am explaining myself in a way that people can understand me. Yeah, this is a cry for help. Any advice or what not would greatly be appreciated :)
Well, I'm off to bed. Hope all is well for you guys :)
Video: Show us your TV crush.
Submitted by quornflour.
My t.v. crush would have to be Zach Braff as Dr. John Dorian aka: J.D. I absolutely love him! He's funny, smart and weird, but in a good way. He's just so gosh dern cute :)
What websites do you visit every day?
Submitted by Chez Michelle.
In exactly this order, I visit these site everyday:
1. Facebook
2. VOX
3. Myspace
4. Imeem
5. Yahoo
6. Gmail
7. Xanga
What's some good advice you've given to a friend, but not followed yourself?
Submitted by robbbiedobbbie.
Being the one that everyone looks up to to be there in times of need and just to confide in, of course I give a lot of advice. Sometimes it helps, other times it doesn't, but most times... it does. Here lately, I have been stressing myself out and worrying about a lot. Not too long ago, my sister was having the same problem. After coming to me to talk, I told her this: "Misty, stop worrying about what everybody else wants. It's nice to consider other people, but there are times that you have to do for yourself. Take some time out for YOU! Don't worry and stress about things that you can't handle. Worrying about something isn't going to fix the problem. Worrying only makes things worse. Fix what you can, and leave whatever you can't just be! Whenever you become stressed out or whatever, take some time to yourself and just relax. Let go, Release, Chill!"
She never took that advice, although she tried. It's bad that I didn't either. I didn't even try to! I have been worrying about so many things lately. I just can't seem to take my own advice.
