11 posts tagged “life”
It has been a while since I've updated on VOX. I feel kinda bad that I have been neglecting my VOX *lol* It's just that I haven't been up to writing all too much lately. There is much to write about, but I just haven't been in a sharing mood. I've been trying to catch up with school and getting ready for prom and the summer.
School is going alright. I messed up big time, and now I have to work extra hard to get my grades back to being decent. I'm in danger of failing because I haven't been going like I should. You would think that I would have learned my lesson the first time I did that and ended up behind, but old habits die hard. When it comes to school, I just don't motivate myself like I should.
Coming into a new school during the middle of the school year when everything is all settled and set in stone, is hard to transition into. I'm still learning my way around Bowsher and I'm finding it hard to get into things. The school year is almost over, so everything is pretty much limited. I was on the rack team for about a week. I loved it! I don't know what it is about running, but I love it! To me, it's a stress reliever and it helps me to focus. I was excited to be on the team, and I went to school more because of it.
After a couple of days, I just didn't feel as if I fitted in with the team. Most of them have been on the team since 9th and 10th grade, and had been conditioning for the season since the beginning of the school year. Because I was new, I was basically pushed t the side and I felt left out. So, I quit going to practice after a while and eventually I quit.
I spoke with my coach yesterday, who seemed pretty disappointed in my decision to quit. I told him that track wasn't for me, and that maybe things would've been different if I would have gotten on the team earlier. He got high hopes by thinking that I was a 10th or 11th grader and that things could still go well with me on the team, but was quickly disappointed again when I told him that I was a senior. I would have loved to stay on the track team, but I felt that it just wasn't for me. I might tr again in college. It all depends.
Because of my bad decision, I will be taking summer classes to try to get my high school diploma before fall college classes begin. I can still go to college while trying to get the rest of my high school credits, which is great, but I'm just highly upset at myself because I would've been done and graduating with the rest of the class of '08 if I just would've went to school on a regular basis.
At Inkster High, I was going to school all the time, and I was a 4.0 student! I was happy there. I was in ROTC and quickly moving up in the ranks, I was on the drill team, I was on the track team, and I was going for softball too. Now I'm a student that hardly goes to school, failing every class that I have, close to giving up and dropping out (it was a thought, but i'm not going to go through with it), and i detention all the time for tardies (long story).
All my teachers find it hard to believe that I'm failing, and they all want to see me pass. I'm trying my best to fix what I've done. It's hard, but it's my burden that I have to carry. I chose to do what I did, and now I'm dealing with the consequences.
In other news, prom is quickly approaching! Next Friday is prom, and I'm super stoked about it. My friend Paige is happy that I'm going. We're going with a big group of people and knowing Paige and her personality, I am bond to have fun. I don't have a date, but I'm not crushed about it. It is a known fact that going to prom is much more fun when you go alone. You get to flirt all you want and dance with who ever!!! *lol*
I'm going to look for a dress today. If I can't find one, then I have a back up dress. It's a cotton summer dress, and it's pretty. Cotton is a little informal, but I'm trying to work with what I have. It's black, and I'm going to have red accessories to accent it with, and a red flower to put in my hair. It fits the theme, and I could dare less if it's cotton. It's different! Which is what I wanted *lol*
Back to Paige (this is a link to her mypace. it's private, but her pic is there). She is one of the most out going and out spoken people that I have ever met. She kinda reminds me of Nate. She's always the life of a party and she seems to attract people where ever she goes. I'm there to listen to her talk when no one else is and she's there to talk to me when no one else does. She's my best friend, and the only one that I have at Bowsher. Sure, I disappoint her by not going to school all the time, but not matter what... she's still my friend. Going to Bowsher isn't so bad, sometimes, knowing that she's there to listen to and make me laugh :)
Summer s quickly approaching also. I'm planning to work at the zoo or cedar point during the summer. If I can't get a job at either of those places, then I'll be working at a fast food place. I don't now which yet. I've applied at McDonalds, but I haven't heard back from them.
Finding a job is hard. I'm planning to move out during the fall or late summer, and without a job... that's not going to be happening. I also have to pay for whatever my financial aid doesn't cover. I haven't sent in my FAFSA yet, so I'm not going to get too much money to cover all my expenses. I should have filled it out earlier in the year, but I'm a slacker *lol*
There soooooooooooooooooooooo many things that I have to do!!! Finishing school, finding a decent paying job, finding a decent apartment is affordable and close to school, keeping up with the NBA playoffs, and trying to keep myself sane... it's all hard work *lol* But I think I can make it through. I'm the daughter of Idadi! :)
In other news, my love life is kinda in the slow lane. I've been talking to a couple of guys that have caught my eye, but nothing fancy. All except for this one guy named Yusuf and this other guy named Sean (i met yusuf on myspace and sean and i both went to the same school but never talked to each other until he added me on facebook... i need to get out more *lol*).
Yusuf is HEE-LARRY-US! He's sweet and he keeps me laughing. Sean is sweet and he keeps me laughing too *lol* I like them both, but I'm not sure If I really want to get into a relationship right now. I still have some things that I have to work on and I'm still vexed by Nate. He has been pissing me off and irritating a little her lately (something that he may not know, but it's true), and I guess it's not because of anything that he did. It's more because of what I expected and because of my high hopes in him and what I think of him. So.. yeah. Sean and I are supposed to be hanging out sometime soon, so we'll see what happens when that time gets here. As for Yusuf, I really don't know. I really like him, but I'm still kinda iffy when it comes to him.
I'm quite happy to see that mi second madre is home and doing well. My prayers continue to go out to her and her family. I know that she will make a fast and successful recovery, and all will be well. She is tough :)
But anywayz, that's about ti for now. I guess I should get up and get ready to go if I plan on looking for a dress. I've been sitting around and playing NBA 2k8 all day. I just got it yesterday, and I LOVE IT!!!
Hope all is well :)
When it comes to love...
It's funny how the one person that you would never expect to hurt you, ends up hurting you the most.
It's funny how the one person that you thought that you could trust, ends up breaking that trust way beyond repair.
It's funny how that person seems to "disappear" into thin air when you are counting on them the most.
It's funny how people always tell you to follow your heart, but then when you do... you start to think that just like that "trustworthy" person... it has betrayed you too.
It's funny how someone can tell you that they love you and care for you, but they make it pretty hard to tell whether it's true or not, but they end up making it all sound sooooo sincere that you believe that it is and you take a chance only to find that your back where you were before... trying to figure out if they spoke truth in anything that they've ever said.
It's funny how I continue to fall for the same person, time after time, even though I know that I'll end up disappointed. I'm doing nothing but setting myself up for disappointment. But stupid silly me... I continue to believe in that person and make up excuses for the things that he does.
It's funny how I allow myself to be effected by one single person.
It's funny how you love one person more then ANYTHING... but you choose another over them... but you love that other more than anything too, and it just so happens to be the person that you continue to fall for and hold onto to just to hurt yourself.
It's funny how you can never find the right words to tell the person that you love, that you need them and wouldn't be able to live without them.
When it comes to heartbreak...
It's funny how I just keep coming back for more, everytime I get knocked down and my heart splattered all over hell.
It's funny that when think that you've finally moved on and all the pain is gone, you suddenly realize that you haven't and all that pain that you felt before... comes back tens harder then before.
It's funny when you consider the person that continuously breaks your heart, as a friend and someone that you don't want to lose because you wouldn't be able to live without them either.
When it comes to so called "family"...
It's funny how they always seem to make you feel like you are nothing.
It's funny how when you try to help them or make things better... it just backfires on you and makes things worser off then they were before.
It's funny how someone that claims to be your "sister/best friend for life" makes you feel like you're nothing but a step-sister and nothing more...( if you catch my drift) but you've always treated them as an equal NO MATTER WHAT!
It's funny that even after you have come to the conclusion that that "sister" doesn't give a RAT'S ASS about you... you keep giving a shit about her and continue to try to be there for her even though it seems like she doesn't want your advice or support.
When it comes to "dads"...
It's funny how you use to be SO close, and now it's like you can't even stand to be around each other for more than a weekend, because it causes nothing but chaos.
It's funny how he can make you feel like a red headed step-child, when he used to make you feel like his very own.
It's funny that when he gave you his name and adopted you as his daughter, you felt so proud to be a Smith and to have a real daddy... but now you're not so proud to be a Smith anymore and you feel that you're losing the only dad that you've known since you were around 5 or 6.
When it comes to high school...
It's funny how it depresses the living hell out of you... but you want to go to college.
It's funny to think that you might have to take a step back and start over.
It's funny how you start to realize that it could've all been over this year if you would've sucked it up and stayed in school 9th through 11th grade year. Or sucked it up and stayed with your "dad" and "sister" for the last couple of months of the school year.
When it comes to sleep...
It's funny that no matter how hard you try to find it... you never can. It's like a never ending game of hide-and-seek... but in a not so fun way.
When it comes to you...
It's funny how you say your happy with you, but it's not all true. No matter how confident you may look to be on the outside, on the inside... you still wish to have longer hair, a more curvy & thick body, better teeth, a smaller forehead, nice shoes, nice clothes, designer purses and bags, because you think that maybe that will make you better. Or maybe it'll make him like you.
It's funny how you suddenly realize that you don't need all that to make you better. You are just fine the way that you are. Ebonni Victoria is just fine as Ebonni Victoria. And whoever can't deal with that... can just KICK ROX WITH NO SOX! because I'm happy with ME and I'm not changing who I am to please or appease others.
It's funny how I just get right back in the mind set of I need this, and this, and that to beautiful or noticed by him or others...
When it comes to life...
It's funny how all the above mentioned things makes you realize you're alive. You're living life and no matter what... it still goes on. Life is about learning and moving on. You can't change the past or tell the future, so don't try to change or outwit it. Fix what you can and leave the rest alone! Whatever is to happen in the future... will happen when you get there.
Just enjoy life as it is.
But it's funny how that sounds sooooooooo DAMN easy and people tell you to do so as if it was as easy as 1-2-3 or A-B-C, when really it's not.
Ain't that some funny shit?
Yeah... IT'S FRICKIN' HELLA HEE-LARRY-US!!!
Which breed of dog is your favorite? Post a picture of it.
Submitted by Melissa.
I have three actually. Me, I'm a dog person. I LOVE DOGS! I've always wanted either one of these three kinds of dogs. My fav out of all of them is the Alaskan husky. The Pomeranian puppy takes second place, and then the Chow Chow comes in last.
Hope all is well :)
is it possible
that life
is giving us
another chance
at love?
or is it
that life
is dealing me
another unfair hand?
just as i was
beginning to let you go,
you say the words
that i've waited,
for an eternity,
to hear.
the words
that i know
to be true,
but am still finding
it hard to put my trust
in them.
why is it that i'm trying to deny
that what i've longed for
with all my heart's desire,
may be true?
it's because of fear.
i fear that this may
all be a dream.
nothing more than
a joke just to get
my hopes up,
and then crushed in the end.
i'm afraid to trust in you,
even though i know that i can.
i know that i can!
i know that you
mean what you say,
and that you're not
playing games with my heart,
so why am i still afraid
to follow what my heart
knows to be true?
maybe it's because
that every time
i follow it,
i'm always let down
and i'm always left
with something more to regret.
but being scared
only holds you back in life.
you'll never know, or grow,
unless you try.
so i'm trusting in you
and all that you say.
i'm letting go of my fears.
i'm letting down my guard,
and i'm following my heart.
something that i thought
that i could never do again
with you.
but i'm learning that
the only thing in life
that's constant,
is change.
and with change,
comes knowledge.
and with knowledge,
comes growth.
maybe together we can grow,
or maybe we need to learn
something that we've missed before.
life is full of mysterious surprises.
that's what makes it
worth living for.
© Ebonni Victoria 2007
It's been awhile since I've last made a post. There isn't really much to say. I'm still getting my senior year together, and stuff. Senior dues and college apps and all that other good stuff are really giving me one heck of a headache. I'm trying hard to look for a job, because let me tell ya... being a senior is purtty expensive! $215.00 for senior dues (that's due on the 7th), $550.00 for my senior trip. Senior pics, yearbook pics, military ball money, prom money, and yada yada yada... it's all too much! Being broke is no fun at all.
I recently retook my ACT test. I finished all my questions, even if it was a guess, this time around so hopefully I'll get higher than a 19. Let's cross our fingers and toes, and wish upon a star *lol* Getting a 19 without studying or finishing the questions is pretty gosh dern good. But I knew that I could get better, so I retook it. Hey! It's free! So why not? *lol
Oh!!! My big news!!!! I'M A 4.0 STUDENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've worked hard to get all A's and I finally got 'em!!! I'm sooooooooo proud of myself. Now all I have to do is keep it up. I know that i can do it though :)
I've applied to The University of Rio Grande and, as mentioned before... I think, EMU. I've started apps for Msu, U of M (ann arbor Campus), and UNC (charlotte campus), but I'm waiting to finish those. I need monies and I need to get my transcript together.
What's new in my love life? Well... umm... somebody made a revelation that shocked the "flip saunders" out of me! Brian said some things that I thought that he would never say, that really got me to thinking some things through. Have you ever felt that there are moments in your life of where the universe is trying to give you another chance at something that maybe you didn't do right the first time? That's how I feel right now. I'll explain further more in another post.
Well, I think that's about it for now. I can't think of anything more to say. If I come up with some more, I'll be sure to add it in. Well, I'm off to play some video games.
Hope all is well :)
Show us what you're thankful for.
I can't show it, because I don't have the pics, but I can certainly tell you what i'm thankful for. Besides being thankful for my school, my grades, my cats, food, music, art, cartoons, and everything else in between, I am highly thankful for my family and the people that I know. Without their influences and their wisdom, I wouldn't be the person that I am now. Without my mommy and my grandmother, I wouldn't be the young woman that I am now. Without my daddy, my grandfather, and my great grandfather, I wouldn't have had any males to show me how man should be. Without my little brothers and my cousins, I wouldn't have had the ability to find my true desire, which is to teach. I wouldn't have had anyone to teach and to pass on what Ive learned in life. Without anyone in my family, I would be nothing. And I'm thankful for them. No matter what struggle s between us, I always appreciate them.
The same goes for the people that I know. You meet people for different reasons, and in meeting them, they give you something out of life. You my not know what it is right off the bat, but when you realize what it is, you're mighty thankful for it. Along with the influence of my family, the influence of the people that I know helps build who I am today. Wheter it be friends, boyfriends (ex boyfriends or the one that i'm with), teachers, enemies or people I've only spoken to once, they all have something to give.These are the things that I'm thankful for.
Show us one of your Thanksgiving traditions.
Sitting around the fireplace with a warm and comfy blanket and a nice cup of coffee, that compliments my delicious apple pie oh so well, while listening to the reading of green eggs and ham with the rest of my family. Yes, we read green eggs and ham as a Thanksgiving tradition. We stared last year, but I'm sure that it's going to be a tradition that will last for years and years to come. My thanksgiving will not be Thanksgiving without green eggs and ham. It just wouldn't feel right unless it was read *lol* It's a classic (as i've said before when i last used this pic).
Show us how you blow off steam
I dance and I sing my troubles away. I continue to love no matter what, and I live each day as if it were my last.
What's the most memorable crush you have had?
Submitted by spectacular.
My most memorable crush is Justin Devaughn Foster ^_^! Woah!!!!!!!!!! Just thinking of his name brings back sooooooooooooooooo many memories. MAN!!!!!!!!!!! HE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAWT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I need a minute to catch my breath before I can go on................................ I can't go on. It's too long of a story. I'll probably tell the story of Justin some other time. Just know that he is HAWT!!!!!!!!!!!! and I still have a lil' crush on him! *lol*
Show us what the weekend has in store for you.
Hopefully a chance to see this character right here
(shh! don't tell anybody... i stole this pic *lol*)
And a trip to the Franklin Cider Mill
